In my first post, I glossed over the main reasons why a move back to Abidjan felt right for me now. Today, I want to talk about some of the things that excite me the most and that I am looking forward to when I think about our move.
A slower pace of life
I don’t want to have to choose between dropping my girl to school or picking her up. I want it all!
I have this vision in my head of the three of us having breakfast together. Then we go drop the girl at her school (which is of course a five minute drive from our place, because why not?). We then go on to work on our respective projects, run our errands.
We pick up the child for lunch. We all eat together, take a short nap, then drop her back to school. We come back and pick her up at 4 pm. In the evening, we all eat and spend time together. On Wednesdays, no school for her, so we get to go on adventures and discover the city together.
Now let’s compare this idyllic vision with our current life. I work 40 to 50 hours per week. Days I work, I usually see the girl for a couple of hours. Because I work until 11.30 pm, by the time I get home, everyone is asleep. And I am asleep when she goes to preschool in the morning.
Now I know the reality will most likely be very different from my dream vision, but I feel like I‘ll have more control about how busy or slow I want my life to be in Abidjan. So maybe that’s really what I’m looking forward to: more control over my time and my life.
Affordable childcare at home
Listen, I love my child as much as the next parent. But I truly think that employee (work/ corporate) life in the US is not designed for parents. How are you supposed to work 40 hours a week, then take care of your child(ren) and family, take care of a home (cooking, cleaning…), have time for your religious activities, hobbies, passion projects, make sure you exercise…etc?
To all the homeschool mamas that are rocking it, taking care of their kids at home, while keeping their house clean and living their best lives, I say R-E-S-P-E-C-T! I am definitely not that person. First of all, as the primary breadwinner of our household, I cannot afford to stay home all day with my daughter. Second of all, even if I could, there is still the cleaning/cooking part that takes a lot of time.
So yeah, shamelessly, I am looking forward to being able to afford a nanny or someone that will come help everyday with cooking, cleaning and childcare. In Côte d’Ivoire, it is very common for families to have a live-in nanny. Some families even have a nanny, a cook and a chauffeur. And those services are very affordable (the minimum monthly pay in CIV is 60,000 Francs CFA which equals about $110; compared to $450 a week here for a $12/ hour babysitter).
Food! Food! Food!
I should have started with this one! Oh Lawd!! Ivorian food! I can eat alloco (fried plantains) for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and start again the next day. How to describe Ivorian food for those who don’t know it? We love stews and sauces (peanut stew, aubergine stew, okra stew…). We love fish (fried, grilled, in stew) and seafood like crabs and shrimps. We love grilled meat (chicken, beef, mutton). One of our staple foods (especially in Abidjan) is attieke. Best way to describe it: kind of a cassava couscous. I can’t tell you more. You just have to try it.
I have been lucky living in SoFlo (South Florida), because we have a big Hispanic and Caribbean population. This means that I can go to the grocery store and buy some plantains and cassavas without any issue at a reasonable price. But for attieke, I had to stock up every time I was travelling to CIV, and endure hubby protesting about how our luggage were too heavy, how he didnt understand why we needed to take full advantage of the airplane company policies and each have 2 suitcases (including baby girl), blah blah blah. And who has time to cook for 4-5 hours (I feel like that is the time required for some of those delicious stews) every day when one works full time? And even if I had time, where to find the specific spices needed? Anyway, you get the point: Food! Food! Food!
Reconnecting with family
I have been living in the US for 13 years now. I am the only crazy person in my family on this side of the Atlantic. Everyone else lives in CIV (Cote d’Ivoire): my dad, brother, sisters, aunts, cousins…I really felt the loneliness for the first time when I had my daughter. Up to then I was very satisfied with being far from my very loving (cough *overbearing* cough) family and all the family dramas, and just pop in every couple of years for a couple of weeks at times to visit everyone, then back to my peaceful life in the States.
When my daughter was born though, it was tough! First, I miss my mama, for all the obvious reasons. Second, I quickly realized how tough it was to take care of a child in the States without any support system. I mean, ultimately we are doing it. But not everyday is a breeze. And, it’s hard for my girl to build relationships with her cousins and aunts while she lives 5000 miles away. I want that for her!
Just enjoying the Ivorian way of life
Every Ivorian reading this post will understand what I mean by Ivorian way of life. The Ivorian way of life is slower paced. For example, in Abidjan, the city more or less shut down for a couple of hours midday for the lunch break. I will always remember growing up, my (full-time) working mom would come and pick us up from school for our lunch break. We would go home and have lunch and take a short nap (you see where my idyllic vision comes from), then she would drop us back at school. She was able to do that because all government offices close for 2 hours at 12 pm. The same goes for private business, schools (the day is divided in two) and stores. When I was growing up, grocery stores used to be closed on Sundays. Now they open every day of the week but I believe the hours are still a bit shorter on Sunday.
Ivorians also have a special type of humor (I guess you can say that for every country). We don’t take ourselves seriously at all and joke about everything. We love to party and love, love, love our food! I miss all that joie de vivre…
Travelling with the fam
So one of my grand goals moving back to CIV is to visit surrounding countries with hubby and the girl, and also discover other towns in CIV. For example, I have never been to San Pedro, which is a coastal town in CIV that has gorgeous beaches. I want to rediscover Yamoussokro, Khorogho, Man and Bouake. I think I’ve driven through Gagnoa as a kid but I honestly don’t remember any of it. I want to see all of it. And as far as surrounding countries, I’d love to go to Ghana and Senegal amongst other places. I’ll definitely do a post on my travel wish list soon. I feel like Africa is often left behind in terms of promoted travel destinations. Or when discussed, we only see safaris and wild animals. That is not the Africa I know. I am a city girl through and through. And I want to show my girl that there are other things beyond safaris to be discovered in Africa, there are people doing cool things to meet, there are delicious foods, there are exciting cities to explore, there is history to uncover.
So tell me, fellow aspiring repats, what are you looking forward to when you move back to your home country? What is your idyllic vision?